El: I forgot just how bad procedural crime drama fanfic is.
Liana: Dear lord what are you reading?
El: Rizzoli and Isles fic. I read one by an author I liked, and it was okay, so I started to read another, and then I remembered why I stopped reading NCIS fic after two weeks at 16. Bones lasted 3 hours, and then I retreated to my Harry Potter shell, which was difficult.
Liana: Because you'd read it all?
El: The books were done by then. That said, I can never decide which ones are worse: the ones with actual cases in them, or the ones that spend three weeks where crime has just died down completely.
Liana: Those are probably the more realistic ones to be fair, crime usually doesn't happen at the speedy rate of procedural crime. Lots of sitting around waiting for shit.
El: I buy that regarding, like, Bones, where they have a very specialized set of skills, but a normal homicide detective working in Boston with three weeks of downtime?
Liana: Yeah, that's weird. I mean, I think there would be a lot less happening in those 3 weeks, but there would be things.
El: I think my favorite was the Bones one where they went, like, six months fic-time without mentioning a case once. Either that one or the one where Bones hated her daughter for no apparent reason in the future was the final straw.
Liana: Have y'all seen that comic that's going around tumblr that has this at the end? “According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs, and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate beings condemning them to spend their lives in search for their other halves.” ~Plato’s The Symposium
Liana: Not exactly true. Also, not a quote from the symposium... The person in the symposium telling that story is actually explaining why genitals are in the front. Apparently when these folks were cut in half, the genitals were in the back and when they started clinging to each other and refusing to part, the population was starting to die out so the gods twisted the genitals to the front so that male and female pairs could make more babies and male and male pairs could at least enjoy themselves while they were embracing
Liana: Speaking as someone who has been trusted with a LOT of secrets and/or sensitive information in my lifetime, I can honestly say that El leaving her laptop overnight in my apartment multiple times--despite knowing my colorful history with unattended electronics--is the most anyone has ever trusted me ever.
Liana: I just discovered that the werewolf girl seems to be on the Vampire Diaries spin off. This is relevant only because it means that two of the mermaids from H2O somehow managed to be on the same show again, playing mythical creatures, on the other side of the planet. Do you think they make mermaid jokes as often as possible? Because if not, they should be.
We're five students (I use that term loosely) from The Evergreen State College in Olympia, WA.
We say stupid things. A lot. And we never forgo an opportunity to mock each other, so we decided to create a archive of stupid things we say and do so we can further our bitchy ways. Also, El wants to be Tumblr Famous. That's... probably not gonna happen.